Them's Fightin' Words

A lot has been written over the last two weeks about the shunt between Nico Rosberg and Lewis Hamilton at Spa.  In that time I’ve felt that the English press has been more biased towards Hamilton than usual, so I thought I’d put a few thoughts out into the ether.  Why do I feel my opinion matters?  Because I have a keyboard and an internet connection, natch.

Let me start by saying that the German press has largely considered it a racing incident, and from what I could see I agree.  It goes without saying that Nico was the instigator, and in doing so he broke the cardinal rule of motor racing: don’t take out your teammate.  It was Hamilton’s corner and Rosberg should have braked or deviated off track, so no argument from me there.

But let’s for a moment forget that they’re teammates.  For arguments sake, let’s put Fernando Alonso in Rosberg’s place.  Would Alonso be at fault?  Sure.  Should the FIA investigate further, or should Alonso be forced to publicly apologize, only to continue to be chastised ad nauseam in the press?  I don’t think so.

The simple fact is that both drivers have been misbehaving all year, so neither should be expecting any favours from the other.  This is the fault of weak management from the Mercedes brass, and should have been nipped in the bud at Bahrain.  But it wasn’t, and it continued, and now here we are.  We should all assume from here on in that once the lights go out, they see each other as legitimate combatants.

What I found irritating above all else was the eagerness with which Hamilton told the world, via traditional and social media, that ‘(Rosberg) said he hit me on purpose.’  Obviously I was not in that pressure-cooker of a post-race meeting, however as someone who spends a lot of their work day muddling through in a second language (incidentally, German), I can tell you that it doesn’t take much for a native speaker to take what you’ve said and twist it to suit their agenda.  On more than one occasion I’ve had an ill worded sentence turned back on me during a contentious meeting, and it’s a shitty way to take a cheap shot at one’s opponent.

So while I’d suggest that Rosberg’s English is far better than my German, and I’ll admit that it’s a stretch, I believe what Rosberg meant to say was that he was putting pressure on Lewis and in turn didn’t relent to prove a point.  So yes, he was at fault, and yes, he would do it again – but given that Hamilton himself hasn’t been exactly squeaky clean this year he shouldn’t expect Rosberg to back off purely by virtue of their matching liveries.

As far as I’m concerned, Lewis is a big crybaby and Nico is being the bigger man.

Now the question turns to how to deal with it from Monza until Abu Dhabi.  The problem is that there aren’t too many ways they can reprimand drivers without harming the team as a whole.  Suspend a driver?  His replacement probably wouldn’t be able to match his results, thereby hurting the team’s chances in the manufacturer’s championship.  Nominate a No. 1 driver?  Mercedes would be accused of manipulating the driver’s championship, and presumably open themselves up to litigation from the now No. 2 driver’s personal sponsors.  And even then, which? 

I do have one idea, but it’s not pleasant: collective punishment.  It’s harsh, and in theatres of war abhorrent, but I can tell you from my time at boarding school it can be extremely effective.  I was in a dorm of 16 boys when one of us was caught smoking for the umpteenth time.  As punishment, every morning for a week the other 15 of us had to get up at 5 am and run 7 kilometers before breakfast.  He didn’t get caught smoking again.

So here’s my proposal, as unfortunate as it may be: if Rosberg or Hamilton tangle with each other or ignore instructions from the pit garage from now until the end of the season, no one back at Mercedes’ Brackley HQ gets their race bonus.  Nico and Lewis get theirs, but no one else.  While I’m sure they’re appropriately remunerated, those employed in the engineering, accounting, marketing departments and so on are not people earning tens of millions of Euros a year, posting selfies of themselves in Moncao with their Paganis during their free time.  So the next time Lewis or Nico ignore team orders or take each other out, make them walk through the complex, look every employee in the eye and apologize for personally costing them £150.  Maybe then they might recognize just how many people’s hard work goes into putting them on the top step every other Sunday, and start treating all of their teammates like teammates.